User Profile

I am a 55 yr. old female living in Indianapolis, IN. I have 5 adult children and 5 grandchildren. I live alone except for my beagle Sadie Kay. Sadie had 11 puppies in June of this year. They all lived (once I resuscited 3 of them) and are healthy and have new homes. I am single and looking because I do not want to live the rest of my life alone.
I keep a written journal and have for 5 years. I will continue to do so, but maybe I'll print this out sometimes so that I do not have to hand write in a journal.
My journaling helps me vent. I tell it my secrets, my inner most feelings. I doubt I'll get extremely personal on line, but you never know what I might come up with.
I've lived a fairly tragic, miserable life. I keep waiting for things to get better. I keep waiting for happiness to come knocking at my door. I'm afraid that it has lost its way. I worry that it has. If it weren't for the verse in the Bible that says, "With God all things are possible" I would have given up years ago and put an end to my depressing, boring, basically loveless life.
But, I have grandchildren that I love and want to know and want them to know me and feel my love. I want to see them grow up. I want to see what it is that God has in store for me. Where is that happiness? Where is the love? I do not feel loved by most of my children. More about that later.

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